Celebrating Brushed Hair

In foster care, milestones often come with a tangle of emotions. The first time a child lets you brush their hair, asks for seconds at dinner, or whispers "I love you" after weeks of silence—these aren’t just sweet moments; they’re signs of healing. According to trauma research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, positive relational experiences—especially those tied to consistent caregiving—literally rewire the brain toward safety and connection. For kids who’ve lived in fight-or-flight, joy can feel foreign. But joy, when it’s consistent and safe, is where healing begins. That’s why in our home, we throw birthday parties like they’re Super Bowl parades and celebrate progress like it’s a Nobel Prize.

Sometimes we hear, “You’re just spoiling them.” And to that we say—yep. Guilty. We’re spoiling them with stability, kindness, and the quiet message: You matter. We celebrate because it teaches kids something sacred: that their existence is worth honoring. Not because they earned it, but because they are. And isn’t that the heart of grace? Zephaniah 3:17 tells us that God rejoices over us with singing. If the Creator of the universe throws a celebration just because we exist, you better believe we’re lighting candles and piecing together balloon arches for every kid that crosses our doorstep—biological, foster, adopted, or otherwise.

At Foster Light, we believe the small things are the big things. A party hat, a hand-lettered sign, a gift with their name on it—it’s not fluff. It’s formation. These simple, sacred acts whisper to a child’s heart: You belong. You are seen. You are loved. That message is powerful enough to change a life. And if we can deliver it with sprinkles and streamers? Even better.