Sobbing Over A Sock
In foster care, progress doesn't always come wrapped in gold stars and Instagrammable moments. Sometimes, it's a kid asking for a second helping at dinner. Sometimes, it's a foster parent managing to get everyone out the door without someone sobbing over a sock. (Statistically speaking, socks are the number-one cause of morning meltdowns—okay, not technically, but any foster parent would back that claim.) These little moments may seem ordinary, but for kids who’ve experienced trauma, they’re massive. According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, children from hard places often live in a state of chronic stress, and small, predictable routines are what help rewire the brain for safety and trust. So yes, a peaceful school drop-off? That’s not small. That’s science-backed healing in action.
Research tells us that healing from trauma is built in relationships, not just therapy rooms. Dr. Bruce Perry—one of the leading experts in developmental trauma—teaches that “connection is the currency of healing.” That connection gets built in the small stuff: in giggles over cereal, in letting a kid pick their own shirt (even if it is inside out AND backwards), in being a consistent, steady presence. These aren’t random wins—they’re evidence that a child’s nervous system is learning to trust the world again. That’s why we celebrate the “boring” stuff like it’s 1999. Because a kid who finally sleeps through the night after six months of nightmares? That’s worth a marching band. (We haven't actually hired a marching band yet, but we’re open to it if you know of one looking for work.)
At Foster Light, we track these kinds of victories like PURE gold. Because the truth is, trauma taught these kids that the world isn’t safe—and healing teaches them it can be. These small wins are the seeds of stability, the evidence that something is working, and the reminder that all the chaos and exhaustion and laundry is doing more than we think. It’s moving the needle. So to every caregiver out there who had a slightly less chaotic morning today than yesterday: you’re doing it. We see you. And we’re throwing a (virtual, glitter-filled) party in your honor.
